Is It Time to Flip the Dynamic in Your Relationship?
I know so many smart, hilarious, kind, beautiful, successful women who suddenly wake up and find themselves in a relationship that isn’t 50/50; a relationship that isn’t a true partnership.
How does this manifest itself? In lots of ways that all look a little different from one another, but all of which come from the same place - a relationship dynamic that's out of balance.
Here are just a few examples (to make this easier to wrangle, grammatically, I’ll speak directly to “you”):
A partner that makes most of the decisions for the couple, regardless of your input or feelings
A partner that has more freedom and flexibility in what they can do within the confines of the relationship than you (e.g. it’s OK for them to flirt with others online, but not OK for you)
A partner that builds you up in public but, in private, treats you poorly or even says negative things to you, about how you look, act, speak, etc.
A partner that treats you poorly in front of their friends or colleagues, sometimes making it seem like a joke even though they know it hurts you
A partner that doesn’t trust you to be out with your friends
A partner that insists your platonic relationship “must have something romantic behind it”
A partner that expects you to solve their problems for them
A partner that abuses you, physically or emotionally
If you find yourself in any of these situations or any other situation that you know deep down inside isn’t right, I’d like to ask you to reflect on your reason(s) why. Why are you in that relationship? I promise you, there is a reason -- you do get SOMETHING out of it.
It might be that you’re scared to be alone, so you get the assurance of being part of a couple. It could be that you’ve been with the other person so long, you like knowing everything about them even if it means forgiving their worst behaviors. It might be (and this is a tricky one, but it happens…) that you feed on drama, and the intense emotions that come with it.
It could even be that you've had relationship questions like these, but don't feel like you fully know what healthy relationships look like.
So, if any of this feels true to you, but you’re ready for a change, it’s critical that you understand your “why.” When you fully understand the truth of your motivations, you can work to change them. When you’re ready to make that change, I’m here to help guide you through it. I’ll be here when you’re ready to flip that dynamic.
